One email, one lie

He again closed his eyes and imagine himself in that hammock on the beach, having just run away from it all. It was all perhaps a little dark – abandoning your partner, your job, your colleagues, all in one go – or was it? If everyone was replaceable, then maybe he would be doing them all a favor by just getting it over and done with, rather than subjecting them to his endless inner turmoil.

He looked at the cursor blinking on the open email reply. He had been bamboozled – to put it in a way that sounded silly. But he also felt it was anything but silly. Turning in his boss for the theft, would mean turning in himself. They might both lose their jobs – or more likely, she would find a way to bamboozle him even further, and for her to stay.

But staying quiet would mean betraying himself, his values, or whatever shreds of values he had left. One email, one lie, could extinguish this fire – this massive fire that he didn’t realize he was helping to build, before it was too late.

But then he would be extinguishing the fire in his soul, he thought, in a bit of a melodramatic fashion. He started typing in the open email window. “Hi Lisa, thank you for your email. After reviewing the spreadsheet, I have concluded there are many, many accounting irregularities, and the only way to reconcile them is to make up justifications for Jess’s reckless personal spending, just as I’ve done every month for the past six months. I won’t do that anymore, thus I will submit my resignation to HR, cc’ing both you and Jess.”

His cursor hovered over send – but then, in a series frantic clicks, he closed the browser with Skyscanner and Airbnb, he banished the hammock from his mind, typed “Ok, I’ve reviewed and all is well, will send the updated spreadsheet Monday after a couple small changes. Thanks Lisa and have a great weekend.”